do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
