Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.

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(513): View more from Ohio

just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'

(973): View more from New Jersey

Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.

(229): View more from Georgia

Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".

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(216): View more from Ohio

You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Blow your rape whistle

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(519): View more from Ontario

When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later

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