Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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