you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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