everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
