I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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