shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
