I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
