the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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