A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
