Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
