Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
