im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
