I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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