I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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