You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
