You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it's like iHOP with fire
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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