he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
