i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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