Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize