i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
