Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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