So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
