Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
