dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
