You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
