whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
