So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
