Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
