If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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