Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
