oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
