I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i believe in u and ur pee
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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