You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Success! We fucked roommates!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
