R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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