If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
