Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
