i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
