I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
