Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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