I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
A bitchslap is in order.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize