when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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