maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize