and she was petting her beer can
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
