I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
