I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
