i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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