Umm I'm too high to move.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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