chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
