Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
