You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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