Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize