This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
