Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
