So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
