You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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