omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
