i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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