I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
