so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
