Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
