you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
