Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
