We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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