If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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